Home Dyslexia and Other SpLDs Brains Come in All Flavours: How to Explain Dyslexia to Your Child

Dyslexia and Other SpLDs, Parenting Tips and Techniques

Brains Come in All Flavours: How to Explain Dyslexia to Your Child

Written by:
Yvette Ngooi, Specialist Psychologist

You have just received your child’s assessment report, and the word “dyslexia” is now official. Alongside the relief of finally having an answer, a new worry creeps in: how do I explain dyslexia to my child without making them feel broken, or worse, handing them a reason to stop trying? Take a breath. With a little warmth and the right words, this conversation can become one of the most reassuring your child has with you.

Dyslexia is a specific learning difference that affects how the brain processes written language, making skills such as reading, spelling and decoding words genuinely harder to acquire (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). It is a brain-based difference, meaning your child’s struggles were never about laziness or low ability, no matter how it may have looked from the outside. Research consistently shows that how a dyslexia diagnosis is shared shapes a child’s self-esteem and motivation just as much as the diagnosis itself (Humphrey & Mullins, 2002). Handled gently, this conversation can protect your child from the quiet shame that so often surrounds receiving a diagnosis and instead leave them feeling understood, accepted and supported.

Explaining Dyslexia with Warmth, Not Worry

Keep the explanation gentle, concrete, and full of reassurance. You might say that everyone’s brain is wonderful at different things. In the same way that some people find it harder to catch a ball or carry a tune, your child’s brain happens to find reading and spelling trickier to learn. Be sure to pair the explanation with something that your child already excels at, whether that is sports, art, or their positive learning attitude. This allows your child to see themselves as more than their difficulties, keeping dyslexia in its proper place, as part of a much bigger, capable, wonderful child, rather than a label that swallows their whole identity. 

Be mindful of the tone you use when talking to your child about dyslexia. Children pick up on how something is said just as much as what is said. A calm, loving voice tells your child that their diagnosis is not a taboo topic or a ceiling on what they can achieve. Children pick up on how something is said just as much as what is said. A calm, loving voice tells your child that their diagnosis is not a taboo topic or a ceiling on what they can achieve.

Helping Your Child Build Confidence After a Dyslexia Diagnosis

A diagnosis explains a struggle, not excuses it. Children can sometimes latch onto a new label as a reason to stop trying, so it matters that the conversation circles back to the importance of how effort and a belief in their own abilities nurtures growth. Focus on the effort your child puts in rather than the outcome. Phrases like “You’re still learning to read, and this is why it takes a little more practice for you” keep the door open to progress and remind your child that trying still matters.

Research on the self-concept of children with dyslexia has found that those who see their difficulties as changeable through effort tend to fare better emotionally than those who see them as fixed and permanent (Alexander-Passe, 2006). Gently reminding your child that support, tools, and practice make a real difference reinforces this hopeful mindset.

Keep Talking About Dyslexia as Your Child Grows

One sit-down explanation is rarely enough, and that is completely okay. Let dyslexia come up naturally and gently like when homework feels frustrating, when your child asks why they get extra time in class, or when they notice a friend reading more easily. Treating it as an ongoing, easy topic rather than one big, heavy reveal helps it feel normal and safe rather than momentous.

To catch any misconceptions or unhelpful ideas, such as being “not smart”, before they take hold, check in on your child’s understanding by asking them to explain dyslexia back to you. Sharing examples of well-known people with dyslexia who have gone on to thrive can help your child see their diagnosis as compatible with a bright future, not a limit on it.

Having dyslexia does not dim your child’s future. Knowing what their diagnosis is provides a clearer map of how they learn and understanding that map early gives them every chance to use it well. The warmth you bring to this conversation lays the groundwork for how your child speaks to themselves about their own learning for years to come.

If you have recently received a dyslexia diagnosis and are unsure of how to talk to your child about it, our team of psychologists at the DAS would be glad to guide you through this conversation. If you are exploring getting an assessment for your child, we are here to support you. You can find out more about the psychological services we offer at the DAS’ SpLD Assessment Services.

References

Alexander-Passe, N. (2006). How dyslexic teenagers cope: An investigation of self-esteem, coping and depression. Dyslexia, 12(4), 256–275. https://doi.org/10.1002/dys.318

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.books.9780890425787

Humphrey, N., & Mullins, P. M. (2002). Self-concept and self-esteem in developmental dyslexia. Journal of Research in Special Educational Needs, 2(2). https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1471-3802.2002.00163.x

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