Home Parenting Tips and Techniques More Than Words on a Page: Understanding the Emotional Impact of Dyslexia

Parenting Tips and Techniques, Teaching Tips and Strategies

More Than Words on a Page: Understanding the Emotional Impact of Dyslexia

Written by Hafizah Nasir,
DAS Educational Therapist

When we talk about dyslexia, we often talk about reading, spelling and writing. We discuss phonics, decoding, fluency and strategies that can help a child become a more confident reader.

But there is another side of dyslexia that deserves our attention – how it feels to struggle with something that may seem to come easily to everyone else.

Imagine being asked to read aloud in class while you are still working out the words on the page. Imagine watching your classmates finish their worksheets while you are still working through the first few questions. Imagine knowing exactly what you want to say, but finding it difficult to get those ideas onto paper.

For some children with dyslexia, experiences like these can happen repeatedly. Over time, the challenge may extend beyond the literacy task itself. A child may begin to develop worries about learning, school or their own abilities.

Research suggests that children with dyslexia and reading difficulties may be at increased risk of emotional and mental health difficulties, including anxiety and other internalising difficulties. However, dyslexia does not inevitably lead to poor mental health. The relationship is complex and can be influenced by factors such as self-esteem, coping strategies, relationships and experiences at school (Wilmot et al., 2023a; Wilmot et al., 2023b).

This is why supporting a child with dyslexia involves more than teaching literacy skills. It also means paying attention to how the child experiences learning.

When “I Can’t Do This” Becomes “I’m Not Good Enough

Children are constantly receiving messages about their abilities. A correct answer might earn praise. A completed worksheet might earn a sticker. A high test score might bring a smile from a teacher or parent.

But children also notice when they are struggling. They notice when they are the last person to finish. They notice when other children can read a word instantly while they have to sound it out. They notice when their spelling errors are circled in red. They notice when someone says, “But we just learnt this.”

Most importantly, they notice when they seem to be working much harder than their classmates but are not seeing the same results.

This distinction matters because a child’s struggles with dyslexia may not necessarily affect how they see themselves as a whole person, but they can strongly influence how they see themselves as a learner. When a child repeatedly encounters difficulties with reading, spelling or writing, they may begin to internalise these experiences. What starts as “I can’t read this” can gradually become “I’m bad at reading”, and eventually, “I’m not good at school.”

Research has found that children with dyslexia may have lower perceptions of their academic competence even when their overall sense of self-worth is not necessarily affected (Terras et al., 2009).

Over time, these repeated experiences can shape a child’s expectations of what they are capable of achieving. This makes it especially important for adults to help children separate difficulty from ability.

The goal is not to convince a child that learning should be easy. It is to help them develop a more constructive belief – This is difficult for me, but difficulty does not mean that I am incapable.

When Avoidance Looks Like Laziness

One of the most important things adults can learn is that behaviour does not always tell us the whole story. A child who refuses to read may appear unmotivated, a child who avoids writing may seem lazy, and a child who becomes restless during literacy activities may appear inattentive.

But sometimes, these behaviours may be connected to repeated experiences of difficulty, frustration or embarrassment.

Research exploring the experiences of children with dyslexia and their parents found that children described school-related stress, worries and embarrassment. Parents also reported behaviours such as homework resistance, emotional outbursts and school refusal in the context of their children’s struggles at school (Wilmot et al., 2023a).

The researchers highlighted the importance of considering the relationship between the child and their environment. In other words, rather than looking at a behaviour in isolation, we can ask whether the demands being placed on a child are appropriately matched to their needs.

Consider a child who is asked to read aloud. They know that reading is difficult for them and worry about making mistakes in front of their classmates. They begin looking for ways to avoid being called on.

From the outside, it may look as though they are simply not paying attention. From the child’s perspective, they may be trying to avoid another uncomfortable experience.

This does not mean that every instance of avoidance is caused by dyslexia, nor does it mean that expectations should disappear. Instead, it reminds us to ask a more useful question – What might be making this task difficult for this child?

Understanding the reason behind a behaviour can help adults respond more effectively.

The Emotional Rollercoaster of Learning

The researchers highlighted the importance of considering the relationship between the child and their environment. In other words, rather than looking at a behaviour in isolation, we can ask whether the demands being placed on a child are appropriately matched to their needs.

Consider a child who is asked to read aloud. They know that reading is difficult for them and worry about making mistakes in front of their classmates. They begin looking for ways to avoid being called on.

From the outside, it may look as though they are simply not paying attention. From the child’s perspective, they may be trying to avoid another uncomfortable experience.

This does not mean that every instance of avoidance is caused by dyslexia, nor does it mean that expectations should disappear. Instead, it reminds us to ask a more useful question – What might be making this task difficult for this child?

Understanding the reason behind a behaviour can help adults respond more effectively.

For a child, these experiences may be felt as: 

  • frustration when a task takes much longer than expected
  • embarrassment when mistakes are noticed by others
  • anxiety about tests or reading aloud
  • discouragement after repeated unsuccessful attempts
  • worry about being compared with classmates
  • loss of motivation
  • feeling overwhelmed by schoolwork

However, it is important not to assume that every child with dyslexia will experience these emotions. Dyslexia is not a prediction of a child’s mental health. Instead, it is one factor within a much larger picture. A child’s relationships, coping strategies, school environment and sense of belonging may all influence their emotional wellbeing (Wilmot et al., 2023a).

But They Did It Yesterday!

Another experience that can be particularly confusing for parents and teachers is inconsistency.

A child may read a word correctly one day and struggle with it the next. They may understand a concept when discussing it verbally but struggle to express the same idea in writing. They may perform well during one lesson but become frustrated during another.

This can sometimes lead adults to wonder, if they can do it sometimes, why can’t they do it all the time? But learning is not always a straight line.

Performance can vary depending on the complexity of the task, the amount of information being processed, familiarity with the material and the demands being placed on the learner. For children with dyslexia, this inconsistency can be particularly frustrating. Their abilities may not always be reflected consistently in their academic performance.

Instead of interpreting inconsistency as evidence that a child is “not trying”, adults can ask, what changed between the two situations? That question moves us from judgement towards problem-solving.

Ability and Performance Are Not the Same Thing

Perhaps one of the most important messages we can give children with dyslexia is this – struggling with a task does not mean that you are incapable of learning.

A child may have excellent ideas but struggle to express them in writing. They may understand a story when it is read aloud but find independent reading challenging. They may be able to explain a concept verbally but struggle to spell the vocabulary needed to write their answer.

What a child can demonstrate through a particular literacy task is therefore not always a complete picture of what they know or understand. This is why it is important to distinguish between ability and performance. 

  • Instead of:

“Why can’t you do this?” we can ask, “Which part of this task is difficult?”

  • Instead of:

“You know this already.” we can say, “Let’s see what you remember and work out what you need help with.”

  • Instead of focusing only on the mistake, we can identify the strategy that helped the child move forward.

Helping Children Build a Healthier Relationship with Learning

  1. Praise strategies, not just results

Instead of simply saying, “Good job!” recognise what the child actually did.

  • You broke the word into smaller parts.
  • You checked your spelling independently.
  • You kept trying even when that word was difficult.

Specific feedback helps children recognise the strategies that contribute to learning rather than viewing success as something that depends entirely on being smart.

  1. Make room for mistakes

Mistakes are an unavoidable part of learning. For a child who has experienced repeated academic difficulty, however, mistakes may feel particularly uncomfortable.

Create an environment where mistakes are treated as information rather than evidence of failure.

Ask:

  • What does the child already know?
  • Where did they get stuck?
  • What support might help next time?

This turns a mistake into a starting point for instruction rather than a verdict on the child.

  1. Avoid unnecessary comparison

“Look at how quickly your classmates finished” may be intended as encouragement, but it can easily become a message about inadequacy.

Instead, compare the child’s current performance with their own previous progress,

“Last month, you needed help with this. Today, you completed part of it independently.”

This is relevant given research highlighting the importance of children’s perceptions of their own academic competence (Terras et al., 2009).

  1. Give children opportunities to experience success

Children need opportunities to experience themselves as capable. This may come through appropriately challenging literacy activities, creative work, sports, music, problem-solving, technology, discussion or areas of personal interest.

Research into the experiences of children with dyslexia has highlighted the importance of supportive relationships, friendships and school connectedness for wellbeing (Wilmot et al., 2023b).

Success does not have to look the same for every child. A child should have opportunities to discover things that they are good at and areas where they can continue to grow.

  1. Help children understand their dyslexia

Understanding can change the way children interpret their own difficulties. If a child does not understand why reading is harder for them, they may create their own explanation,

  • I’m lazy.
  • I’m stupid.
  • I’m just not a school person.

Helping children understand dyslexia in age-appropriate language can give them a different explanation: their brain learns written language differently, so they may need different strategies and more practice.

Research suggests that children’s understanding of dyslexia and the way they make sense of their differences may be important to their self-esteem and wellbeing (Terras et al., 2009; Wilmot et al., 2023b).

Understanding does not remove every difficulty. But it can help a child separate what they are struggling with instead of labelling themselves as a failure. 

Emotional Support Is Part of Educational Support

Supporting the emotional wellbeing of children with dyslexia does not mean turning every literacy lesson into a counselling session. Often, it begins with something much simpler, seeing the child behind the worksheet.

Encouragingly, emerging research suggests that emotional support can make a difference.

In a 2026 randomised controlled trial, Boyes et al. (2026) evaluated a nine-week socio-emotional wellbeing programme called “Clever Kids” with 78 children with clinically diagnosed dyslexia. The programme focused on coping skills, emotion regulation, self-esteem and related areas. Children who participated showed improvements in coping, emotion regulation, academic and social self-esteem. Parents also reported improvements in anxiety and depression, with effects maintained at the three-month follow-up.

The researchers described the programme as promising while noting that further research is needed.

The findings reinforce an important message – supporting emotional wellbeing is not separate from supporting learning.

Beyond Literacy: Seeing the Whole Child

Supporting a child with dyslexia is not about lowering expectations. It is about making sure that a literacy difficulty does not become an identity. A child can struggle with reading and still be curious. They can struggle with spelling and still be creative. They can need support with writing and still have brilliant ideas. They can find schoolwork difficult and still be capable of tremendous growth. Most importantly, dyslexia does not define a person’s intelligence, potential or worth.

Research tells us that children with dyslexia may face greater emotional challenges, but it also tells us that their experiences are shaped by many factors—including self-beliefs, relationships, coping strategies and experiences at school (Wilmot et al., 2023b).

That means there is something we can do.

Because perhaps the most important message a child can carry with them is not, reading is easy for me. It is, reading may be difficult for me, but difficult does not mean impossible.

And even more importantly – My difficulties do not define me.

References & Further Reading

Francis, D. A., Caruana, N., Hudson, J. L., & McArthur, G. M. (2019). The association between poor reading and internalising problems: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 67, 45–60.

Francis, D. A., Caruana, N., Hudson, J. L., & McArthur, G. M. (2019). The association between poor reading and internalising problems: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 67, 45–60.

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2018.09.002

Terras, M. M., Thompson, L. C., & Minnis, H. (2009)

Terras, M. M., Thompson, L. C., & Minnis, H. (2009). Dyslexia and psycho-social functioning: An exploratory study of the role of self-esteem and understanding. Dyslexia, 15(4), 304–327.

https://doi.org/10.1002/dys.386

Wilmot, A., Pizzey, H., Leitão, S., Hasking, P., & Boyes, M. (2023a)

Wilmot, A., Pizzey, H., Leitão, S., Hasking, P., & Boyes, M. (2023). Growing up with dyslexia: Child and parent perspectives on school struggles, self-esteem, and mental health. Dyslexia, 29(1), 40–54.

https://doi.org/10.1002/dys.1729

Wilmot, A., Hasking, P., Leitão, S., Hill, E., & Boyes, M. (2023b)

Wilmot, A., Hasking, P., Leitão, S., Hill, E., & Boyes, M. (2023). Understanding mental health in developmental dyslexia: A scoping review. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 20(2), 1653.

https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph20021653

Boyes, M., Melville, K., Nayton, M., Pizzey, H., & Leitão, S. (2026)

Boyes, M., Melville, K., Nayton, M., Pizzey, H., & Leitão, S. (2026). Targeting coping strategies, emotion regulation, and self-esteem in children with dyslexia to support mental health: A randomized-controlled trial of Clever Kids. British Journal of Educational Psychology. Advance online publication.

https://doi.org/10.1111/bjep.70122

Other Post